Wednesday, June 28, 2006

BRIGHTHOUSE CABLE CENSORS SG

Incompetence or Conspiracy? You Decide!

(Orlando) The Spurious George staff has occupied its new Kramerica headquarters for all of seven days now, has made 6 calls for service to the local cable company (Brighthouse Networks,) and has enjoyed approximately 1.5 days of cable service; on Monday the incompetent bastards even mistakenly turned the service off intentionally, although they later explained that this action was, like the Clinton era, a "mistake." As SG's internet access is through its cable line (dial-up is for hippies,) there was, as millions of you no doubt noticed, no patriotic post yesterday; in fact, I (Rex Kramer, Seeker of Danger) have been reduced to using the internet access of my government-owned computer just to bring you this message.

Fear not, RexHeads, for the obviously Democrat-owned cable company assures me that SG HQ will be wired by this afternoon. Of course, they said the same thing yesterday. Folks, if you want an idea of how socialized medicine would work in this country if the Howard Deans of the world had their way, look no futher than the efficiency of your local cable provider.

25 Comments:

Blogger Callooh said...

Hippies use high speed cable . . .

sometimes wireless

ps I had no trouble with my cable company, up and going in one day, perhaps it was the tye die shorts?

June 28, 2006 10:53 AM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

Capitalist bastards.

June 28, 2006 2:16 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Rex...I'm surprised that an uber-patriot such as yourself would settle for anything less than DSL. Cable is for commies and pinkos--people who want to "share" their bandwidth. The ownership society, not to mention our dear leader and his data shunt at AT&T, require that you have your own line. No sharing. Somebody always gets hurt when you share.

That said, you can have my cable. The Frogette and I have been trying to get ours turned off for months now, and they just won't do it. Keep billing us too those wealth-redistributing aparachniks.

June 28, 2006 5:08 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

That's right...hippies use high-speed...

June 29, 2006 4:04 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

I am sure this is all Clinton's fault. I haven't figured out how that could be just yet, but that doesn't stop me from saying it.

June 29, 2006 7:28 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Oh, and is the NY Times somehow involved?

June 29, 2006 7:28 AM  
Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

it is not a proper dog if you can punt it

June 29, 2006 8:37 AM  
Anonymous gordo said...

If it weren't for Gore, there wouldn't even be an Internet, and none of this would have happened. I'd also be saving $40 a month in access fees.

Democrats: if they can't tax you through the government, they'll tax you through private business.

June 29, 2006 9:47 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I think the issue is your addiction to cable, Rex. Dude, go cable free. You'll live longer and be happier. You can do it. Take it one day at a time.

June 29, 2006 9:27 PM  
Blogger Callooh said...

there may even be a 12 step program for you Rex

you could be Happy Joyous and Cable Free (well at least you seem to have the 3rd)

maybe this is God's way of telling you to become a Liberal. . .

June 30, 2006 9:46 AM  
Blogger glenda said...

pssst...the rumor is that the cable comapanies are owned by the liberal media TV and radio companies...

June 30, 2006 10:04 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

So this explains the respite of my cursed nemesis!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No access for your sorry ass!!! Screw you, Rex Kramer!

HA HA

July 01, 2006 12:47 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

wait...wait...dare I say....schadenfreude????

More spiteful laughter.




and a bit more....

more....

July 01, 2006 12:48 AM  
Blogger glenda said...

Hi, Rex!

Will you join us in a Post for Peace on July 4? Details at my site. All are encouraged to join...the top 2 posts have information. We want to get the blogworld to work cooperatively to speak out to end the war. To avoid damaging your sterling reputation, perhaps you could blog anonymously? Thanks, Glenda

July 01, 2006 1:44 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

I think with the recent move and this cable problem, Rex just might be in the right frame of mind to want a little "peace".

July 02, 2006 7:10 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

I have Brighthouse..someone needs to frag those muthas.

July 02, 2006 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Glenda, sshh! If our secret gets out, well have to read about how the Republican'ts and their hate of the NYT and cable companies. Stop the madness!

July 03, 2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

Geez, Rex. We have patriotism withdrawal.

Come back to us.

July 03, 2006 8:10 PM  
Blogger ThePoetryMan said...

I am sorry to hear of your cable troubles... Give `em hell, Rex!

July 04, 2006 2:51 AM  
Anonymous Dude said...

It it seems so out of character for anyone to have difficulty with their cable provider. Almost never heard of!

July 10, 2006 7:45 PM  
Blogger fashiongirl said...

Rex -

Have you heard of WiFi? It's this great new thing. Kind of like electricity...

July 13, 2006 10:41 PM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

you must have went to dial up

July 14, 2006 6:02 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

I'm wondering if the tiny danger-seeker has made an entrance into Kramerica...if it has...my sympathies to the Mrs. cause it's hard work.

July 16, 2006 8:36 PM  
Blogger EmascuMan said...

REX!!!! Still gone???

I need to experience your manliness vicariously! Come back!

July 16, 2006 9:01 PM  
Anonymous abi said...

Hmmm...funny how the Middle East started exploding not long after Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker, dropped out of sight.

Coincidence? I think not.

Whatever mischief you're up to, Rex, stop it right now and come home. No one believes the phony "cable trouble" cover story.

July 29, 2006 4:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home