Friday, June 23, 2006

Pride In An American Dynasty

When Rex asked me to contribute a post to his "Convert a Hippie Week," I had to ask myself what it is that makes me proud to be an American, and at first I was at a loss, but then it came to me...


No not that Dynasty (well, OK that one too), but good old fashioned American political dynasties handed down from father to son (brother, daughter, whomever...you get what I mean). And not just any dynasties mind you. We're talking Republican dynasties here. Because the Grand Old Party doesn't go in for all that scientific deviltry--in-vitro, fertility treatments, cloning! No sir! They create their dynasties the old-fashioned way through procreation in the sanctity of a marriage of one man to one woman.

Democrats? Bah! Couldn't create a decent dynasty if their political future depended on it. I mean just look at the Clintons. One crummy kid, and she's not even interested in politics. Where as with the Bush's it's kids to the left 'o me and kids to the right 'o me. And I shouldn't need to remind you that dynasties aren't made in places like Kennebu--I mean Nantucket! Nope. Real dynasties, big dynasties come from great states like Texas and Florida. Why the three greatest Presidents in US history, Reagan, Bush, and Bush came from Texas. (Ok, ok. I know the Gipper was really from Hippieville, but he had a heart as big as Texas and might as well have been a Bush.)

The United States may have a "special bond" with England, but that doesn't mean that we have to repeat their mistakes by messing around with this whole voting thing, and that's why I'm also proud of our Electoral College, or as I like to call it the "Bush Dynasty Preservation Department". Because let's face it, we're all way too busy managing our Halliburton Financial Personal Social Security Accounts to worry about who should be the next President. We already know who the best person for the job is. A Bush!

In honor of Rex Kramer's own freedom-loving state of Florida and our next President,
John Ellis Jebediah Xavier Bush.

19 Comments:

Blogger PTCruiser said...

What a tribute to a great family and legacy. I'm looking forward to many more years of sleepless nights and mind-numbing intoxication.

June 23, 2006 8:09 AM  
Blogger Alicia said...

I second that emotion! It really takes all that pesky, headache-inducing decidering off of your mind. In fact, I'm getting a headache just thinking about thinking about it!

Pass the Oxycontin!

June 23, 2006 9:12 AM  
Blogger podvizhnik said...

Hey! I missed out on my Halliburton Financial Personal Social Security account! Where do I get one so I can be rich too?
Let's face it--hands up, everyone who ain't down with being rich. (You sit down, Rex. I see you back there!)

June 23, 2006 1:47 PM  
Anonymous abi said...

Dateline: The Green Zone, Baghdad. November 26, 2026.

President Jenna Bush helicoptered into the Green Zone today and was photographed pretending to serve a plastic Thanksgiving turkey to some of the 500,000 US troops stationed in Iraq.

Back home, Vice President Barbara Bush, the President's sister, held a press conference and declared that the Iraqi insurgency was definitely in its last throes.

Meanwhile, the president's son, Damien, who is being groomed to carry on the Bush presidential dynasty, is reported to be still missing from his Alabama National Guard unit. Dan Rather, interviewed while lunching on strained peaches through a straw, refused to comment on the report.

June 23, 2006 1:48 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Abi...LMAO! You should post that.

June 23, 2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Yes, the Bush Dynasty. It's an idea whose time has come. We need to keep the riffraff out of the White House and let some blueblooded Americans take charge.

Things have gone so well these past five years, it would be unthinkable to give the White House back to some peasant family like the Clintons or Carters.

June 23, 2006 5:14 PM  
Anonymous abi said...

Thanks Kvatch. But I think everyone who reads my blog already read Rex's and yours. ;-)

June 23, 2006 5:22 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

Its great when the comments are as good as the post. :)

June 23, 2006 5:46 PM  
Blogger podvizhnik said...

I agree, tom. Time to clean all the Southern riff-raff out of there. Kerry in 08! I still say Gore is a rockstar, though.

June 23, 2006 10:12 PM  
Blogger Station Agent said...

The best man for the Jeb, er, job...

It's Bush. Again. I've seen the plans.

What's up Kvatch. Strange meeting you here in West Blogopotamia.

Scurrying back to the station to be re-liberalized.

June 24, 2006 12:57 AM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

this is good for people that like name recognition

June 24, 2006 2:45 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

Jeb has got a tall name for a pudge guy.

June 24, 2006 3:08 AM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Actually I made it up. I think that it's really "John Ellis Bush". I just figured that, when you're part of a DYNASTY, you need a name with some heft.

June 24, 2006 9:41 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Dude, come back!

I've been away all week and I come home to find this jive. YIKES

Thank goodness I was away and not exposed to this anti-hippie stuff all week.

Wonder if Rex is moved into the new double wide yet? Is it on wheels still or is it perched on concrete blocks?

June 24, 2006 3:03 PM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

They're putting the plastic pink flamingos and lawn gnomes out in front of the trailer right now.

June 24, 2006 7:51 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

If Rex really is getting a double-wide, then considering where he lives, the term "Danger Seeker" is going to take on a whole new meaning.

June 24, 2006 8:18 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

I heat he may get Britney Spears and K Fed as neighbors. Heh heh!

June 24, 2006 9:25 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Double wides are known as tornado magnets. Hang on Rex!

June 25, 2006 9:43 AM  
Blogger Callooh said...

actually I kinda like the new wardrobe, and hairdos - was this "A Gay Eye for Straight Dynasty" makeover?

June 25, 2006 10:36 PM  

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