Saturday, June 17, 2006

GIVE PEACE-NIKS A CHANCE

Rex Takes a Vacation, Hippies Fill the Void

(Orlando) First came “the Day the Earth Stood Still.” Then, “The Day the Music Died.” Decades later we all bore witness to 9/11, “the Day That Changed Everything©.”

Today, sadly, is “the Day Patriotism Was Silenced”…if only for a week.

Spurious George, the recognized standard-bearer for all that is good and decent in America, has, due to its much-deserved rise in popularity among the masses, outgrown its current home, and tomorrow begins the arduous task of moving into its new digs, SG HQ II. The week-long journey, spearheaded by SG’s founding father Rex Kramer, unfortunately means that Rex will not be educating the unwashed hippies during that time. Although this news is expected to result in a sharp drop in the stock market, a marked increase in oil prices, and an obvious lull in America-loving levels, one must remember that when God closes a door He also opens a window…which is a good thing, because, frankly, this place is going to be smelling like hippies for the next week.

As has been advertised in this space, beginning Sunday this site someplace it has never dared tread…hippieville! Each day for the next week, one of the liberal blogosphere’s most incorrigible freedom-haters will have his or her way with this site like a Kennedy at a co-ed mixer. Under normal circumstances, we here at SG would no sooner turn over the keys of the clubhouse to a pack of hippies than we would let them date our daughters, but we have received assurances from each that they will attempt to write about something that makes them proud to be an American (other than the welfare checks, of course.) As the Danger-Seeker-in-Chief will be unable to monitor their efforts, he asks you, his loyal RexHeads©, to keep an eye on the place in his absence.

That said, he also asks that you encourage his guests, as the true spirit of “Convert a Hippie Week” is just that; a chance for the unreformed leftist to see what’s so right about the Right. Take them under your broad Right Wing, and make them feel like part of the winning team. Barring, that, at least encourage them to shower more often!

7 Comments:

Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

sunday your site is going to go from one of our supreme leaders favorite blogs to one he has monitored for security reasons.

June 17, 2006 11:54 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

Gee...I never thought I was endowed with an unpleasant scent...but if you say hippies are unwashed...then unwashed they be. While gone setting up your bigger 'Danger-Seeking-Digs' for the little danger-seekers...we shall indulge the mighty hippie in us all and fight for the 'right' to p a r t y! Heh heh! It may be a tad smokey when you return.

June 17, 2006 9:35 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Graeme: Do your worst, hippie!

Sumo: Thankfully, "Febreeze" just introduced a new anti-hippie line of scents.

June 18, 2006 12:04 AM  
Blogger Callooh said...

like wow - tie dye party - my place, free love and daisies . . .

June 18, 2006 12:16 AM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Rex, I for one am honored to be selected for your "Convert a Hippie Week" and am humbled to included in such august company. As I type this, I am redonning the mantle of unabashed freedom-loving as I prepare a pithy patriotic post.

June 18, 2006 10:30 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

They spray that anti-hippie febreze at me and I will kick their ass pacifist style.

June 19, 2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

Yippee! I hope those hippies can deprogram the indoctrinated readers of your blog while you're gone. ;-)

June 19, 2006 4:06 PM  

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