Sunday, June 11, 2006


Cutter-and-Runner Wants House Leadership Role

(Washington) It is now clear to most right-thinking Americans that not only is Rep. John Murtha (D-PA) a chicken, but he also counts them before they hatch. Murtha, who many will recall led the cowardly movement to have our brave men and women in uniform withdrawn from Iraq before the mission there is truly accomplished, this week announced
he’ll seek the House Majority Leader post in the unlikely event the Democrats take control of the House in November. “Our goal is to win the House back and if there's an open seat, I'm the candidate,” Murtha wrote in a letter sent, at the overburden taxpayers’ expense, to each of the few remaining Democrats in Congress.

Republicans who inadvertently received a copy of the letter were stunned, as most assumed the only goal of the Democratic Party was to have everyone hate America as much as they do. “I think it’s great that the other party has goals,” completely-innocent former House Leader Tom DeLay observed. “This is what America’s all about, after all: overreaching and falling humiliatingly short.” DeLay also added that the Democrats are so incompetent that he doubts they could find K Street with both hands in Jack Abramoff’s pockets.

Also questioning the abilities of the minority party was current (and future) Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH.) “Everybody wants the trappings of power, but when you get there you find out how hard the job is. Just ask my good friend, President Bush.” Boehner revealed that he and Bush often chat late into the night about how few comprehend the burden that comes with their positions. “The Democrats say they want the power? They want the power? They can’t HANDLE the power!!!”

As for Murtha, few believe that he’d have the support of his own pathetic party if (and that’s a mighty big ‘if’) the Democrats brainwash enough voters this mid-term election. “Congressman Murtha’s military record makes him unacceptably patriotic for the liberal faction that controls that party,” accurately assessed Karl Rove. “That same service, as we proved with John Kerry, also makes him unelectable. Frankly, I’d be surprised if he were elected dog catcher.”


Anonymous Elizabeth Branford said...

Why is Rove always accurately assessing?

If he assessed accurately we would not have many of our difficulties.

Rex your shunning is officially lifted. You may skip now.

June 11, 2006 10:55 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Don't the Democrats know that Osama's in a recording studio in Pakistan, recording a new batch of October surprise tapes for the Republicans? I guess the Democrats are hoping that their "We're the lesser of two evils" platform will work better than a real one.

June 11, 2006 10:59 PM  
Blogger Gun-Toting Liberal said...

Liberals are EVIL. Thank you for blogging on this; somebody HAS to. I am both Liberal AND evil, and I am praying on bended knees for God to deliver me to the righteousness of "conservatism". Thank you for enlightening me, Sir...

And Gawd Bless ya's ;-)

June 12, 2006 4:23 AM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

the dems are too pussy to back Murtha. When he started making sense about the war in Iraq they ran away from him as fast as they could.

June 12, 2006 4:42 AM  
Blogger Callooh said...


that's what the flying pig is called.

like I thought everyone knew that....

June 12, 2006 9:53 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

EB: Shunning is so Victorian. Smiting's where it's at!

Lew: The Democrats seem to be wrestling with whether "We're the party of bad ideas" is preferable to "We're the party of no ideas" as the 2006 rallying cry.

GTL: Just by visiting this site, you have proven your inner desire to shed your hippie ways.

Graeme: Cutting and running is what Democrats do. That, and America-hating, of course.

Callooh: I thought "spork" was the term for the plastic spoon/fork hybrid...something I've becomes familiar with since all of my silverware is packed up for next week's move.

June 12, 2006 10:12 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Murtha's communist rhetoric is demoralizing our troops and comforting the enemy. He's the candidate of Surrender Monkeys. He must never take power.

June 13, 2006 1:43 AM  
Anonymous gordo said...

Folks, keep in mind the fact that the alternative to Murtha is likely to be Nancy Pelosi. As much as I hate the idea of the House being under the thumb of an America-hater like Murtha, it's far more alarming to think of the House being in the hands of the Fair Sex.

June 13, 2006 10:18 AM  

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