Monday, June 12, 2006

PATRIOTISM IS POOPED

Rex Kramer Sleep-Walks Through His Daily Post

Ed. Note: SG’s freedom-loving reporter Rex Kramer, as some of you know, Seeks Danger© not only among the liberally-misinformed, but also on the mean streets of Central Florida. Like Batman (but without the homo-erotic body armor) he is always on-duty, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365.25 days a year. Sometimes, his eternal vigilance against the forces of evil takes its toll on his seemingly-endless supply of energy, and today is one of those days (the skies above Orlando were illuminated with the “Rex Light” this morning at 2 a.m. and again at 7 a.m. Evil, it seems, never sleeps in.) With that in mind, please excuse his abbreviated post.

“Convert a Hippie Week” Update

(Orlando) Showing that maybe, just maybe, not all liberals are inclined to cut and run, a number of the blogosphere’s most notorious America-haters have accepted the challenge of writing as a friend of democracy (if only for a day) during Spurious George’s “Convert a Hippie Week” (June 18th-24th.)

Among those who regularly bad-mouth their country but who will try to find something…anything…that makes them proud to be an American are the Reverend Billy Bob Gisher (
Less People Less Idiots,) Dude (The Blue Republic,) PTCruiser (PTCruiser,) Elizabeth Branford (Lose the Noose,) Graeme (Holding N. Dakota’s Breath,) and Kvatch (Blognonymous.) While these people would normally be candidates for smiting, one can’t but help admire their willingness to step outside of their hippie skins for a chance at a better (and more America-loving) future. We here at Spurious George request that all of our dedicated RexHeads© support their rehabilitative efforts by visiting this site during Convert a Hippie Week and encouraging their pseudo-patriotic efforts.

11 Comments:

Anonymous gordo said...

Quite a lineup you have planned, Rex. I think you're doing your country a great service in luring these America-haters into the open, so they can easily be identified when President Bush finally brings our true government back from exile.

Let's make sure these pinkos are first against the wall.

June 13, 2006 10:13 AM  
Blogger Callooh said...

hey, like cool t-shirt!

almost the same colours as my tie dye pants.

like wow man! we have matching wardrobes.

June 13, 2006 10:15 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Would it surprise you greatly to know that I really do have a tye-dyed shirt?

Didn't think so.

Did you sell the Kramer mansion? The Pop pad is still on the market. Found out the first real estate lady was a nut case so we have a new one now and she's actually trying to see the house for us. What a concept, huh?

June 13, 2006 10:16 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

rex,
i erased my blog just for you....actually, it was in the name of hippies everywhere....naw, i just got sick of all the dumb world has to offer and I am no longer mad at my sister....anyway, hope your conversions are going well....

June 13, 2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

and too bad you don't let girls into your secret societies, I tried like hell, but i give up....

June 13, 2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger ThePoetryMan said...

Hey... Go ahead and add me to that list. I will write a poem much like the star spangled banner in which the anthem is sang not in English or Spanish or Russian or German, but in the Arabic tongue of our Middle Eastern booty called Iraq. It will sound a bit familiar and make us and the Iraqi people proud to be a part of the tradition that is America!

I will if you need me to, I might, even if you don't.

Just letting you know that I am here for the cause. :>)

June 13, 2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

What secret societies now Rex? Are you chauvinisting again???

Tell us of this Mary so we may express our solidarity with her. And bash you together.

I have to blog with these guys? Sheesh. You should just call it "f-word" week.

HA!

June 13, 2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger EmascuMan said...

Why can't we all just love one another the way we are? Diversity is a gift --a societal quilt, lovingly stitched with differences, and placed over our weary selves.

Can hippies be changed? Sure. But while you might be able to scrub the dirt off the hippie, you cannot scrub the dirt from their souls.

And these people you have chosen are some dirty mutha***rs.

June 13, 2006 7:36 PM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

The dirtiest of the dirtiest.

June 13, 2006 9:10 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Gordo: I have adopted the idea that instead of cursing the darkness, I'd rather light a candle...the better to illuminate the inescapable truth of the superiority of conservatism. Hopefully next week the dirty half-dozen will carry that candle forward.

Callooh: We'll actually be selling a version of that same shirt at the Spurious George gift shop. The only alteration will be a small micr-chip that will track the movements of the hippies who wear them.

POP: Real estate agents, when the Rapture comes, will have their own level in hell (just below the Democrats.) Luckily, we found a Republican agent who, naturally, loves money and actually sold our house (we close on the Kramerica Kompound on Tuesday.)

Mary: Secret societies? The Spurious George tent, much like the GOP's, is large enough for all to join. Heck, we even allow hippies in here!

Poetryman: I, of course, am a big supporter of the arts...as long as my tax dollars aren't paying for them.

EB: I gave up on secret societies back at Yale when I got passed over for Skull and Bones for some CIA director's son. I wonder whatever happened to him.

Emascuman and PT: I have no doubt that the experience of "Convert a Hippie Week" will be like baptismal waters, and will wash away the dirt of hippies sin by those who partake. Can I get a hallelujah?

June 13, 2006 10:32 PM  
Blogger Callooh said...

Purchase tye die? no no....

I make my own .....

June 14, 2006 9:35 PM  

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