Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Seductive Sec of State Voted “Super Sexiest”

(New York) So much for the adage that “politics is show business for ugly people!”

Today Esquire magazine announced that a poll of its male readers revealed Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as
the woman with whom they would most like to escort to a dinner party (and by that, of course, they mean “have sex with.”) In the final rankings the scintillating Secretary smoked silver screen sirens such as Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, Jessica Simpson and Angelina Jolie…an encouraging sign that men are beginning to value conservative substance over Hollywood-elite superficiality. “Condi has it all,” commented California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a man well-known to be extremely appreciative of the female attributes. “Brains, power, and the one thing that any politician, whether they be an Austrian-born action hero or an Alabama-born professor, needs: a massive tooth-gap.”

While Condi’s dental soup-strainer is a major turn-on for many, others cited her more intangible qualities as her main draw. “Frankly, I find her loyalty the most attractive thing about her,” admitted a clearly-smitten Dick Cheney. “If those around me were as loyal as Condi, Scooter wouldn’t have acted alone, that lawyer wouldn’t have stepped in front on that quail, and my daughter would be straight.

Former White House spokesman Scott McClellan also admitted an inner-circle crush on the Sexy Secretary. “Her ability to lie through her gapped teeth, I have to admit, gets me randy.” McClellan revealed that there were times during interviews that Rice was so effectively spinning the talking points that, “I wanted to take her right then and there, and have her sneer dirty, dirty lies into my ear!”

Despite her new sex-symbol status, Rice says she still has no plans to capitalize on her movie-star looks. “I’ve turned down Playboy many times, of course. As a woman of principle and accomplishment, I will never reduce myself to exposing flesh for the enjoyment of others…unless the National Review calls, of course.”


Blogger Left of Center said...

may God bless her baren womb.

June 13, 2006 10:23 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

"Frankly, I find her loyalty the most attractive thing about her,” admitted a clearly-smitten Dick Cheney."

Uhhh, Rex I think that this is a misquote. What the Veep actually said was, "I find the fact that she's the *only* frickin' neocon female around here to be the most attractive thing about her...”.

June 14, 2006 2:42 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

I am speechless..friggin Condo?

June 14, 2006 3:46 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

Did the survey go so far as to require the surveyorees to be sighted. You know...not blind? Mayhap they were paid to do this survey...or given food...or told they would go to heaven...oh who are we kidding!...only hippies go to heaven!

June 14, 2006 5:32 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Even I, who believed in Santa Claus longer than most, cannot imagine any guy being turned on by my sister by another mister, Ms Rice.

Damn, who knew?

June 14, 2006 7:31 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Folks, not only is the recognition of Condi's allure long overdue, but I consider her continued unattached status one our country's greatest shames. True, the one man good enough for her (Bush) is happily married, but surely there's a man of distinction out there who's not afraid of a strong, sexy woman.

Someone get me Steadman on line one!

June 14, 2006 8:30 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

This only proves one thing: Politicians - particularly right-wingers - have no taste when it comes to women.

June 14, 2006 12:20 PM  
Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

if they start trying to find partners for condi i am going to become

i find the most attractive thing about her is that she is nowhere near me

June 14, 2006 2:01 PM  
Anonymous gordo said...

I remember the words of Bob Gothwaite, when he was informed that People magazine had named Nancy Reagan the sexiest woman in America:

"I wonder what Total Fucking Bullshit magazine had to say?"

Ah, Nancy. Condi stole my heart for awhile as she gazed innocently at the 9/11 commission and said, "I think the PDB said something like, 'Bin Laden Determined to Stike in US...'", but Nancy will always be the one for me.

June 14, 2006 7:25 PM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

“Her ability to lie through her gapped teeth, I have to admit, gets me randy.”

Lol, that is hot

June 15, 2006 4:43 AM  
Anonymous abi said...

Scoff at Condi if you must. But I happen to know for a fact that the Secretary of Sex has just given birth to the president's love child, on 6/6/06. The boy is being raised by a secret religious sect on a farm somewhere down south. Big things are definitely expected of Him.

June 15, 2006 4:51 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

I am married to a repube which proves that, yes..they have no taste at all when it comes to women.

June 16, 2006 1:06 AM  
Anonymous RichM said...

All she needs is an Adam's apple the size of Ann Coulter and she would be totally irresistable to any Republican. He she is already, who am I kidding.

June 16, 2006 1:19 AM  
Blogger Callooh said...

damn, I just feel ugly . . .

June 16, 2006 9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Condoleezza Rice entered the room wearing only a red satin bra and panties. On her feet wasa pair of black stiletto sandles. I immediately drop to my knees and began to grovel at herfeet." I love you Condi " , I whimper. While kissing her toes. I caught her musty scent mixed with Aimez Moi perfume by Caron. I become aroused . I attempt to run my hand up the back of her calf. but Condi instructed me to go to the black leather couch. Condi sat down and I laid face down across her lap andshe began to spank me. At first the slaps were light but after a few moments they came harder and more rhythmic . Her fingers left red welts in my pasty white ass. After a few minutes my ass checks became sore and I began to anticipate the slap before it came. The pain was becoming unbearable and Condi was showing no signs of letting up, she was clearly enjoying inflicting this pain on me. In her slapping frenzy her long red finger nails removed bits of skin from the inside of my ass cheeks making the pain exquisite. About three minutes later the slaps began to waver, clearly Condi's right arm was getting tired. It was good for me as the pain was becoming almost unbearable . Now my ass cheeks felt red hot and although I felt like crying out, I did not. I could not let Condi see my pain . If she sensed I was in agony this would provoke her to hit me harder and I couldn't take much more . Shortly after that the spanking stopped altogether, she was exhausted . I looked over my shoulder to see her beautiful black skin covered with sweat and could hear her heavy breathing. I became aroused even further. I sat up and we embraced. I kissed her forehead and could taste the saltiness of her skin. I repeated again " I love you so much Condi ". We then traded positions , now it was my turn to spank her. "Condi lowered her panties and lay across my lap."Condi " I said, "you have been a very bad girl and now I'm going to give that sweetass a properspanking." I feel Condi's wetness on my legs. Now she is aroused.

September 09, 2006 1:56 PM  

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