Lefty Love

People on the left love America and always have. We just love it differently.

Conservative Republicans think about America like they would their invalid mother. Their country (right or wrong) is never to be criticized - Just as sainted Mom is always above reproach even while it’s now known that she spent your formative years making extra cash as a hooker.

People on the right fly into a rage if you question anything about American - just like they would if you happened to mention that that their Mom dresses like a slut. They guard the illusion that their country is faultless in its policies like they guard the secret that Mom tried three times to abort them (permanently leaving a coat hanger scar on their withered left bicep).

Conservatives Republicans will vow that they would die for their Mother, and their county – they’ll just do it on their own schedule; because many conservatives have “other priorities than military service.”

No one doubts that the folks on the right love their country and their mothers. But you’re not doing Mom any good by not mentioning her three DUIs and her arrest for meth possession. It’s not helping Mom to look the other way when she shoplifts sirloin steaks from the local Safeway twice a week. And Mom is never going to reconcile with their father until she stops sleeping with Uncle Chester.

The love that lefties have for America is just a strong as the folks on the right, just not quite so blind. Lefties love America like they do their hot friend who’s always playing head games with them, and wearing slutty clothes and expecting us not to get the “wrong” signals. Oh she know exactly what’s she doing…shaking that fine ass in front of us.

People on the left take their country to task for it’s mistakes, just as our friendship compels us to mention that throwing-up in our car is not something a friend does without some just compensation (if you know what I mean). Just try to get that smell out of there! Although, I must say, Febreze helped quite a bit.

Everybody should love their country, but it needs to be a tough love. If your country steps out of line or promises something and doesn’t deliver, then it needs to be held to task. If your country constantly insists on dressing real provocatively and keeps telling you she likes how you look with your shirt off – well that’s a country that’s just asking for it!

Dude - The Blue Republic