Friday, February 24, 2006


“Hillary Town” Welcomes America’s America-Haters

(New York) When the GOP held their 2004 national convention in New York City, they did so in the hope that one of the last bastions of America-hating would see the error of their rejectionist ways and finally embrace the undeniable logic of compassionate conservatism. Sadly, it appears that the “city that never sleeps” is also the city that never stops cutting and running, as
the modern-day Gomorrah has agreed to host a futile anti-war concert featuring some of the leading names in freedom-hating.

The defeatist “Bring ‘Em Home Now” concert will be held at the city’s Hammerstein Ballroom, a favorite hangout amongst the town’s fringe elements, on March 20th…the 3rd anniversary of the opening salvos in our great nation’s liberation of the Iraqi people. The show, headlined by alternatively-lifestyled alternative rocker Michael Stipe of the band R.E.M. (“Really Enjoys Men,”) aims to give aid and comfort to the enemy by treasonously calling for a humiliating US retreat from Iraq. Stipe will be joined on stage by gangsta-rapper and Air America “talent” Chuck D, a man so ashamed of his anti-patriotism that he refuses to divulge his Christian name, as well as the second-most famous traitor alive today.

“Cindy Sheehan will be the master of ceremonies,” announced concert promoter and America’s most-famous traitor Michael Moore. Sheehan, who milked the heroic death of her son Casey for her 15 minutes of fame, has been compared by some to a former reality show contestant who clings pathetically to her D-list celebrity status. “As the living symbol of America’s vibrant anti-war movement, Cindy’s presence ensures that this event won’t turn into some kind of freak show.” Moore later admitted that Senator John Kerry had earlier decided to host the concert, before he decided against it. Moore also confessed that Sean Penn was later approached about accepting the master of ceremonies duties, but that he decided he could hurt America less by joining al Queda.

Concert organizers report that initial ticket sales have been sluggish, but they hope that a Hillary Clinton fundraiser scheduled for the same day will draw in the kind of America-haters that constitute the show’s target audience.


Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Won't such a concentration of American hating going on cause the world to tilt on it's axis towards the axis of evil? How could the NSA allow this to happen?

February 24, 2006 10:17 PM  
Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

I like the biker group Critical Mass that protested the RNC and still hold protests now and again in NYC. And the city has ignored and silenced them, Bloomberg is his usual cobag self and the cops are arresting them for doing nothing wrong other than riding their bikes in groups in the city.

NYC jumped the shark when they took cigarettes out of bars and now made it so you have to stand outside, freeze your arse off with over medicated nutcases like you all for a cheap, but heavily taxed high, and then you can go home to your unrent controlled apartment and wait for the gov't to track your Google porn searchs.

It's not NYC, it's the system, man. The system is no good.

February 24, 2006 10:19 PM  
Anonymous Dude said...

cops are arresting them for doing nothing wrong other than riding their bikes in groups in the city.

I've been to NYC...any group of people capable of riding motorcycles in a groups...have my admiration, and a death wish.

February 25, 2006 3:08 AM  
Anonymous Disinterested Third Party said...

The Internet is abuzz with talk about the next KRAMERICA©...coming this Saturday at that wonderful site The Blue Republic. Have you noticed that the wonderful people at TBR no longer require that you be a member to comment? So I expect all Rex’s fans will write delightful comments to his next KRAMERICA© offering. God Bless you Mr. Kramer, and God bless KRAMERICA©.

February 25, 2006 3:14 AM  
Anonymous Anita said...

I'm in the process of pulling together my social calendar for March now. It's already over-saturated with un-American events and subversive activities, and I'll tell you, this one is a very, VERY tough call:

Michael Stipe?
Hilary Clinton?

Hilary Clinton?
Michael Stipe?

not gay?

or not.

February 25, 2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Lew: As we learned from last year's tsunami, even a slight wobble in the earth can have horrific effects on 3rd world nations not protected by FEMA. Clearly, the hippies don't care about their little brown brothers.

AG: As a former NYC kinda guy, myself and Mrs. Danger-Seeker returned to the Big Apple last year for the first time in a decade. Let me tell you, what 12 years of Republicanism has done for that town's upswing is nothing short of miraculous. Now, if they could just get rid of the hippies.

3rd Party: No, God bless YOU (only slightly less than he does me, of course.)

Anita: Might I suggest skipping both and going shoe-shopping? Condi tells me the shops there are to die for.

February 25, 2006 10:46 AM  
Anonymous RichM said...

Note to self, Self, get cod piece sewn into the remainder of your pants.

February 26, 2006 1:22 AM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Sean Penn has joined Al Qaeda?

February 26, 2006 5:00 AM  
Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

have you ever noticed, that you never see Moby speaking, when Stipe is drinking a glass of water?

February 26, 2006 9:47 AM  

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