BUSH: RETURN TO WHITE HOUSE IN 2008?

First Lady Laura Mulls Extending Bush Dynasty

(Washington) Someday in the not-too-distant future, a former First Lady may very well serve as Commander-in-Chief…but it certainly won’t be that bitch Hillary What’s-Her-Face. Today in a stunning and yet somehow not unexpected or unwelcome announcement, Laura Bush hinted that America just may be ready for its’ first gyno-president. Lovely Laura needlessly added, “I'm voting for the Republican woman."

While not an official launch for the inevitable “Laura in 2008” campaign, her comments had many right-thinking Americans fantasizing about a dream Bush-Bush ticket in the next presidential election. “With Iraq continuing to be a spectacular success, and with his poll numbers skyrocketing, President Bush could bring much to a Laura Bush ticket,” lucidly theorized the completely unbiased George H.W. Bush. “Of course, should she decide to look beyond her husband to someone equally qualified, patriotic and handsome, there are other Bush family members who’d gladly step up to the job, by golly. I’m just saying…you know, retirement can be so lonely.”

Other Washington insiders praised the idea of Laura re-decorating the White House until 2016. “I, for one, think the First Lady would be greeted as a hero, and not a conqueror should she decided to run,” predicted hero Dick Cheney. “Should she need someone to head up the search for a worthy running mate, well, I know just the guy.”

“She is, like, so cool!” gushed Jenna Bush, a prospective Supreme Court nominee should Ruth Baden Ginsburg ever, God forbid, die. “Believe me, mom found my fake ID in a puddle of my own vomit; if she was queen of America, that Osama meanie would, like, be so caught.” Added voice of her generation and potential Secretary of State Barbara Bush (the hot one, not the old one,) “If mom ruled the world, I’d still be able to travel to way-cool places! Plus, I’d still get those Secret Service studs to, like, follow me everywhere. One is, like, sooooo cute!”

Outside of the beltway, supporters eagerly lined up to praise a Laura Bush presidency. “She would continue to bring honor and dignity to the White House, which lost so much honor and dignity with the last president. Clinton, I mean,” testified Florida Governor Jeb Bush. “Frankly, I think her career should be taking care of my Georgie, but I suppose if she must work she may as well stick to the family business,” quipped patriotic private citizen Barbara Bush (the old one.) Independent businessman Neil Bush, in a telegram from his Dubai office, announced he and his Mid-East friends, “Stand behind Bush STOP Will send money STOP What’s the latest on the port deal? STOP.”

While the First Lady, like most in the Bush clan, is coy about her bright political intentions, an exploratory committee has been created to gauge exactly how much America loves her (i.e. a lot, or super-much.) Donations for her campaign, in increments of $10,000, are being accepted temporarily at the “Re-Elect Tom DeLay” fund.