Saturday, March 11, 2006

SICK CHILDREN HATE OUR FREEDOM

Youngest Danger Seeker's Patriotism Questioned

(Orlando) We here at Spurious George World Headquarters apologize to our loyal base for the recent less-than-regular output from our ace reporter, Rex Kramer (Danger-Seeker.) His unverified excuse this time is that his youngest Danger-Seeking Daughter became ill this week, possibly from touching a hippie, and required his constant care. The good news is that the Petite Patriot is again the picture of all-American health, and that tonight Rex will resume educating the unwashed masses.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Nelson Chang said...

We're all thankful that the young patriot is feeling better. America needs you to resume the fight.

March 11, 2006 11:42 AM  
Anonymous abi said...

Shame on you, Danger Seeker. If you keep coddling that child, she's just going to expect handouts all her life and grow up to be a shameless welfare queen.

Next time she's "sick," tell her to crawl out of that crib and get her own damn medicine. She'll thank you for it later (if she's old enough to talk).

March 11, 2006 11:46 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

LOL at abi. That's the righteous spirit!

Bless her heart, she probably got all tuckered out during her family's constant practice, as the are always preparing to fight against hippies and other liberals. Possibly she had an attack of Leftist Cooties? Was she real sweet and kind? Sounds like a case of some Liberal disease to me.

March 11, 2006 5:16 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

By the way, how many tie-dyed tee-shirts must one have to own in order to get linked on the "enemies list"? How many pairs of Birkenstocks must one own? How many trees must one have hugged? How many times must one have voted Democrat? How Liberal must one be to make the freakin list? Just tell me man and I'll do it.

Oh yeah, "PEACE" and "MAKE LOVE NOT WAR".

March 11, 2006 5:25 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Thanks for everyone's compassionate conservatism. I'm happy to report that Little Miss Danger-Seeker is up and about, and today even resumed her training for the 2010 Winter Olympics (where she's a favorite to become Florida's first-ever seven year-old multiple gold medal-winning speed skater/havoc-causer.) The only thing more sad than a very sick 3 year-old is watching President Bush's poll number sag.

March 11, 2006 5:33 PM  
Blogger Ron Nasty said...

This is a coincidence. Rex's hippie twin comes to visit, then his daughter catches some hippie virus? Next time he visits, spray the hippie down with the hose and some Lava in the backyard before you let him in the house.

March 11, 2006 6:47 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Glad your baby girl is feeling better! How's Mrs. Danger doing? Morning Sickness yet?

March 11, 2006 8:42 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Perhaps the Bush poll numbers caused your petite patriot to suffer from the Red, White, and Blues?

Glad she's feeling better.

March 12, 2006 1:14 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

How many, Patricia? I happen to have 37 such shirts, twelve pairs of the sandals, Ralph Nader tattooed on my ass cheek, and a shrine to Phish on my commune. I lived in a Redwood named Uranus for over a year with only Bonnie Raitt for company. I renamed myself Hummingbird and built a strawbale house heated only by the warmth of drum circles and bongs.

It takes a lot of counter culture references to get onto Rex's enemies list, let me tell you! You think you're ready? You can't be pissed off. You have to be woefully accommodating.

Save the bonobos.

March 13, 2006 2:11 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Some belated comments (what can I say? Even patriots can have a bad week):

Pissed-off Patty: The enemies list, unlike the human, is an evolving animal. Rest assured, your place on it will come soon (actually, I'm way overdue to update, so look for your name and other to magically appear this week.)

Mr. Nasty: Could you please call my mother and tell her that? I swear, every time I bring up the topic of Krypto's body lice and conatgious hippietitis, she tells me to be nice to my brother.

AJ: Mrs. D-S is doing well, thanks, although she keeps carrying on about something called a "vascectomy." Soounds vaguely scientific, or worse, French.

Kvatch: While the polls bring my white cell count down, it appears the little one is more affected by Katherine Harris' possible withdrawal from the Senate race. I ask you, where have all the gyno-conservative role models gone?

Lily: If there were a "Hall of Fame" enemies list, you would, without a doubt, be a charter member.

P.S. Hehehehe...I said "member." Crap, I also said "vascectomy!"

March 13, 2006 2:22 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Very good looking child, I must say. Glad to hear she's feeling better.

March 14, 2006 7:11 AM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

I ask you, where have all the gyno-conservative role models gone?

You'll always have Condi, you uber-patriot!

March 14, 2006 4:18 PM  

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