REX KRAMER FOUND!
Reporter Napping, Not Kidnapped
(Kramerica World HQ) A much-relieved SG senior editor Pat Robertson this morning announced that patriot-without-peer Rex Kramer has been found alive and well-rested. As the search for America's primary freedom-lover was initially conducted by officials left over from the Clinton administration, they ineptly failed to look under his desk, where an exhausted Kramer (exhausted by his efforts to bring decency to the hippie horde) was merely enjoying a well-earned nap.
"Praise be to Jesus, Rex is just fine, and ready to resume his preaching to the patriotism-deficient," testified Robertson. "He has confided in me that he'll resume his rightful place at the SG Bully Pulpit later this evening, but in the meantime he urges all repentent hippies to seek the truth at The Blue Republic."
(Kramerica World HQ) A much-relieved SG senior editor Pat Robertson this morning announced that patriot-without-peer Rex Kramer has been found alive and well-rested. As the search for America's primary freedom-lover was initially conducted by officials left over from the Clinton administration, they ineptly failed to look under his desk, where an exhausted Kramer (exhausted by his efforts to bring decency to the hippie horde) was merely enjoying a well-earned nap.
"Praise be to Jesus, Rex is just fine, and ready to resume his preaching to the patriotism-deficient," testified Robertson. "He has confided in me that he'll resume his rightful place at the SG Bully Pulpit later this evening, but in the meantime he urges all repentent hippies to seek the truth at The Blue Republic."
posted by Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker at Saturday, April 01, 2006
7 Comments:
whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love your patriotic blog here!!! There are so many America hating blogs I found here on the internets, it's nice to find one that has good patriotic Christian values. It's too bad you are married, but maybe someday I can find a man as American (I doubt I could find one more American) as you
Rose: Thank you for your non-verbal expression of relief.
Carrie: It's true there are few more patriotic men out there than I (ok, there are none at all.) That doesn't mean there's not someone out there for you who at least "mostly-loves" America. That said, young lady, no man of patriotic ilk is drawn to a young woman who poses semi-nude (ok, maybe Bill O'Reilly, but he's working on that issue.) Good God, woman, put some clothes on!
I came to tell you I have returned from my tree hugging, nature geeking, bird watching, hippie practicing adventure and to ask if you had missed me. But I know what you would say. You would say you never missed a hippie. That you got one every time you verbally fired. Right?
Like Rose, I wanted to say "whew", but well, you know.
By the way, did you by any chance find Monica's thong under the desk? Did you perhaps find one that didn't belong to Monica? Say maybe one left there within the past five years? We need to save the country from total disaster and another thong would surely be our greatest weapon
Good God, woman, put some clothes on!
Shush, Rex. Good God, what kind of danger seeker are you?
"...put some clothes on! "
What?? You're telling a sweet 18 year old cutie to put her clothes back on????
Me thinks you're taking this patriotic fervor a bit too far Rex.
I mean, what would Dude Do?
(WWDD)?
say that fast 5 times.
What WOULD Dude do? He told me he was a crossdressing geriatric!!!!
Did he lie?????
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