Thursday, May 18, 2006

NY TIMES JOINS AXIS OF EVIL

Judith “Judas” Miller Blamed for 9/11

(New York) With Iraq now a flourishing democracy, it appears that a vacancy in the “Axis of Evil” has emerged…that is, until the always anti-American New York Times rushed in to fill the void. In this latest episode of America-hating, an online “blogger” (and thus a highly credible source) has revealed that the Times’
Judy Miller had knowledge as early as July 4, 2001 that al Qaeda intended to attack the homeland, and yet sinisterly kept that information to her evil little self.

“What an ungrateful bitch,” rightfully accused administration martyr I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, a man who understandably wonders why she could keep her big mouth shut then, but not after a mere few days in prison. “After all I did for her…I mean, after all America did for her, she willfully allowed 9/11 to happen? May she write Adam Sandler scripts for the rest of her miserable career!”

It has long been reported that Miller was inspired by the attack on the USS Cole (Clinton’s fault) to investigate the al Qaeda terror network; what was unknown until now is that the attack actually inspired the “Judas of Journalism” to join Osama bin Laden’s ranks. Advised by her co-conspirators that the Islamofascists planned a “major attack” on US soil, Miller chose to sit on the story, thus depriving the newspaper-reading-addicted President Bush the warning necessary for the heroic defense that would have resulted. “Unforgivable,” indignantly harrumphed über-patriot Karl Rove during a break in his tireless efforts to single-handedly rebuild New Orleans’ levee system. “How does she sleep at night…with her lesbian lover Hillary Clinton?”

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, upon learning of Miller’s treason, immediately ordered US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald to delay anything he was currently working on until 2009 so that Fitzgerald could focus all of his attention on investigating Miller’s treachery. “Judith Miller, more than any single individual not named ‘Saddam Hussein,’ is responsible for 9/11, the Day That Changed Everything©,” accurately accused Gonzales, who, despite being of Mexican descent, loves America more than any Democrat who ever breathed. “Clearly, the swift and just punishment of a threat to national security trumps a witch-hunt based upon the theory that a so-called CIA ‘analyst’ was possibly and inadvertently outed.” Asked if Miller would be sent to Gitmo or an Eastern European CIA “black prison,” Gonzales replied that “all options are on the table, but based upon her haircut, I think she might enjoy prison…if you know what I mean.”

13 Comments:

Blogger Mary said...

I REALLY like that the day that changed everything is copyrighted...Rex, everytime I come visit your site, after being away for a while, I DIE, completely...you are one funny America loving bastardly character...hope you are well...

May 19, 2006 12:44 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

ps. I think Miller would kick Anne's ass...except if they were fighting with their noses, then Anne would probably win...why don't you send them both to prison instead of Fox and see what happens, reality tv anyone?

May 19, 2006 12:46 AM  
Blogger p_jordan_sr said...

And she buried Jimmy Hoffa on a Horse Farm outside of Detroit, I read it on the grocery store mag stand just yesterday! Very amusing piece brother, blog on!

May 19, 2006 1:42 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

I never did like her hair.

May 19, 2006 3:59 AM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

That judith miller vs. ann coulter fight would be hot!!! picture ann with her red white and blue trunks and her killer right hook (she would never throw a commie left hook)

May 19, 2006 5:00 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

So now Judy is the woman who changed everything.......but her hair style?

May 19, 2006 5:14 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Mary: We here at SG exist only to entertain...in an America-loving way, of course. In any event, sending Miller back to prison is a given, but methinks it'll be the "Alcatraz of the Rockies" where America sends it's worst (I'm looking at you, Bill Clinton!)

P-Jordan: I have no doubt that this great country, from sea to shining sea, is littered with the corpses left in the wake of Hurricane Judith.

Sumo: My sources tell me it's a wig made from the hair of Pakistani children. Don't even ask what she does with their blood.

Grae: I'll go one further and say that Ann would kick Judith's ass with her inferior left hand tied behind her back!

POP: Her hairstyle is merely a reflection of her America-hating...out of style and showing its' roots.

May 19, 2006 6:45 AM  
Anonymous Dude said...

Mr. Kramer...you apparently never saw the video of Ann Coulter running like a little girl when someone tried to throw a pie in her face. Ann Coulter is all mouth. Judith Miller could kick her ass!

Now, who would win a fight between Superman and George W. Bush?

May 19, 2006 11:33 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

I think all questions re: "who would kick who's ass" can be answered by watching this video (safe for work):

http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

May 19, 2006 1:07 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

ah, yes, i was wondering if you were pointing the clinton thing at me or my pseudo husband, thanks grandpa, i will try to keep the indentities straight....

May 19, 2006 2:20 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

I LOVED the ultimate show down....loved it....and I think you already know the sex of your baby, a girl right? and no, i still don't think you're an asshole...i think at this point, i am just going to continue to like you to spite you....

May 19, 2006 2:26 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Branford said...

Ah, Rex. Let us not spar with boxing gloves.

As my nemesis in blogdome, though, I would not hesitate to challenge YOU in an ass-beating.

At our mutual Turf- Blue Republic. Kramer versus Branford. Ready to cry like a bitch?

May 19, 2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

It's all so clear now -- Judith Miller is the culprit. Even Gitmo is too good for this America-hating traitor. She needs to be rendered to Uzbekistan for some serious torture.

May 20, 2006 4:26 AM  

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