POW Group: McCain a Fraud

(Phoenix) A group of former Vietnam War POWs today made the explosive, albeit most likely true, charge that Senator John McCain (R-AZ) was never held captive by the enemy as the Senator has alleged every chance he gets. “In fact, I submit that he never stepped foot on Vietnamese soil,” patriotically stated retired Rear Admiral Roy Hoffman and founder of the group Prisoners of War Patriotically Outing Wannabes (POWPOW.) “That he works his so-called ‘prisoner experience’ into every public speech he gives is, quite frankly, an affront to every veteran of that war, including the President.”

Hoffman, who might have single-handedly defeated the Viet Cong if he weren’t hampered by having to serve with both McCain and fake Purple Heart-collector John Kerry (D-MA,) said that he had always considered McCain’s lies harmless in the past, but felt compelled to speak out when the Arizona senator recently alluded to his fictitious captivity while committing high treason. “When McCain flaunted his fake credentials in the face of the Hero of Hanoi, well, that was the last bamboo shoot as far as I’m concerned.

Hoffman was referring to McCain’s treasonous opposition to torture of prisoners of the spectacularly-ongoing war on terror. The “Hero of Hanoi,” of course, is former Navy SEAL and current glorious President, George W. Bush, who in a daring solo mission he had always been too humble to discuss, invaded and captured to North Vietnamese capital in 1969. Recently, historians at Bob Jones University have argued that had Lt. Bush been reinforced by a swift boat, possibly captained by John Kerry, Vietnam might now be a member of the coalition of the willing.

Admiral Hoffman, who was once briefly detained by Japanese customs officials during a stopover in 1970, knows first-hand the horrors of captivity, as well as the effectiveness of torture. During his own inconvenience, Hoffman was threatened with additional delay if he did not provide his Asian captors with a sensitive American document, his passport. “If, and that’s a big if, if the Vietnamese tortured their prisoners, then that right there if proof that it works. I mean, they won, didn’t they?”

Reached by telephone, Senator McCain chose the old traitor stand-by, stating that he would not dignify Hoffman’s allegations with a response. In the background one heard what one might interpret as the sound of the “senator” sharpening the knife he again plans to stick into the President’s back.