PLAME LEAVES CIA IN SHAME

Incompetence Cited As Reason For Dismissal

(Washington) Valerie Plame, wife of terrorist-sympathizing traitor Joe Wilson and poster girl for the lunatic fringe conspiracy theorists, today cleaned out her receptionist’s desk at CIA headquarters, and it appears her career as a junior executive administrative assistant has come to an end. While CIA officials, citing the infinite wisdom of the Patriot Act, refused to comment, several sources close to the situation offered credible, and probably true, reasons for Plame’s separation.

“Miss Plame’s vivid imagination and clear mental instability led her to believe that she was some sort of secret agent,” asserted Ted Wells, a prominent Washington attorney, whose client, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, had his distinguished career in service to this country stained by Plame’s psychosis. “While her superiors at the CIA, which included the janitorial staff, tolerated her fantasy life, ultimately they found it presented a clear and present danger to the security of the United States.”

While most experts agree that Plame was, like most rabidly partisan Democratic traitors, mentally unstable, one top administration official reveled that mental illness was only one of her shortcomings. “My sources tell me that, simply put, she was incompetent,” revealed White House deputy chief of staff Karl Rove during a break from his single-handed effort to rebuild New Orleans’ 9th Ward. “She’d lose messages, forget to replace the copy machine’s toner, and supposedly made the worst coffee in Washington.” Rove stated that he held no grudges against Plame, whose fantasy world forced him on numerous occasions to take time from the business of serving his country and defend himself against delusional charges. “Yes, it was a dirty political trick, but as a Christian I must turn the other cheek. Honestly, I just hope the poor woman gets the help she so obviously needs.”

While charges against Libby were not immediately dropped, it is expected that in light of Plame’s disgraceful exit, special council will Patrick Fitzgerald will do the right thing and move for a dismissal on Monday, after he returns from a fundraiser for convicted killer and Crips gang-founder Stanley “Tookie” Williams.