Saturday, January 21, 2006

BUSH: “PEACE IS FOR PUSSIES”

President Rejects Rejectionists’ Call For Truce

(Washington) In responding to
Osama bin Laden’s pathetic appeal for a truce in Iraq, President Bush, a man of few words, issued but one: “Nuts.” In doing so, Bush honored the word of General A.C. McAuliffe, who refused to surrender to German forces in the Battle of the Bulge, as well as express his assessment of bin Laden’s mental state. “You see, peace is for pussies. That is to say, don’t mess with Texas,” explained the President, who knows that staying the course is the only course.

“Osama bin Laden’s sad attempt to pull us into peace negotiations only proves that the insurgency is in its’
last throes,” asserted Vice President Cheney, confirming what most Americans have known for some time. “His empty threats about attacking America, quite frankly, serve to show once again that his organization is devoid of ideas other than those that further the causes of our enemies. By that, of course, I mean he’s a Democrat.”


Bin Laden’s entreaty is not the first time he has tried to lull Americans into a false sense of national security. Many may recall that following the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, President Clinton accepted al Qaeda’s “sincere” apologies and promises to “never do it again.” Such terrorist-coddling only emboldened the forces of evil who, in concordance with a secret agreement made with Hillary Clinton, waited until after the dress-stainer left office to attack America again. “Never let it be said that this administration did something based entirely on the fact that
Clinton did it,” judiciously remarked Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, whose Justice Department has issued several warrants for bin Laden’s arrest, even though the marginalized Islamo-fascist hardly merits any thought on the part of the President these days.

“The fact of the matter is we do not negotiate with terrorists, especially when
we have them on the run,” patriotically asserted White House spokesperson Scott McClellan, who has personally kicked much rejectionist ass when not defending the President from the idiotic questions of the America-hating mainstream media horde. “The President firmly believes that this is not the time to cut and run or for appeasement. Simply put, we must crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women.”

McClellan’s sentiments on behalf of President Bush were echoed throughout right-thinking America, but were naturally rejected out-of-hand by those who would have us kneel to Allah. “President Bush is missing a golden opportunity to forge an alliance with the Muslim world,” droned professional rejectionist John Kerry (D-MA,) who in the past advocated fighting the War on Terror© with boring speeches. “As you all know, I voted to bomb bin Laden before I voted against it.”

Photo Intercepted by the NSA from the
Whiskey Bar.

6 Comments:

Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Those of you who view the posted photo of McClellan may be inclined to ask, "Rex, do you think you could kick his ass?" Well, the obvious answer is that of course I could. I mean, the man was a Sig Ep at the University of Texas, for chrissake! Those guys were fags!

January 21, 2006 9:08 PM  
Anonymous Dude said...

Actually General McAuliffe said "Fuck You!" "Nuts" was the medias attempt to clean it up. If Bush said "nuts"...then he's a pussie!

January 21, 2006 10:58 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Hearin' the lamentations of their women is the best part.

January 21, 2006 11:15 PM  
Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

scott is not the same guy i can recall. you and neil need to drop by the fork. quite a group over there.

January 22, 2006 12:59 AM  
Anonymous lily said...

Hmmm and the chorus of rejectionists stand silent..
You inspire awe, Rex. For that you have my vote in your misguided poll <-----.

January 22, 2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

"Misguided poll?"

Let me assure you, the poll you see is as guided as an inbound cruise missile, heading straight for the heart of America-hating!

Like a UCLA student, I am intent on rooting out the liberal-bias prevalent in our society. This poll is designed to separate the America-lovers from the mere America-likers.

January 22, 2006 3:56 PM  

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