Saturday, January 21, 2006


Like the New Look? If Not, You Hate America

Note: Spurious George’s danger-seeking reporter Rex Kramer, when not listening in on his neighbor’s cell-phone conversations for evidence of America-hating, sometimes reads mail that was actually addressed to him. Today, he takes time out from his perilous duties of freedom-defending to respond.

Q: “Rex, what’s with the black-colored web page? It’s kind of morose, don’t you think? You’re not attempting to draw negative attention to the death of those who have perished fighting for our freedom in Iraq, are you?” –Dick C, Undisclosed Location.

A: Good point, Dick. Unlike the Cindy Sheehans of the liberal left, we here at SG choose not to mourn our war dead, but rather celebrate the ideals for which they fought. In that spirit, today we unveiled our new, more patriotic layout. You may notice that much of the type-face is still colored black, but this was done to honor one of the
Republican Party’s greatest heroes, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Q: “What’s the deal with changing the ‘tag line’ under your blog’s title every day? While I embrace their patriotic messages, I also fear change (I also fear interns, but that’s another story.) Why can’t things stay they were, say, back in the plantation days?” -Hillary C, New York.

A: Hillary, the only change you should fear is the miniscule-possibility that some day a lesbian Senator from New York may inhabit the White House (these nightmares sometimes haunt my sleep.) As for the tag-lines, I believe they help keep the message of freedom-loving fresh every day. That said, sometimes it’s hard to come up with new material. Thus, why not submit your own idea? In fact,
the SG reader who submits the best America-loving tagline will see it posted this Monday.

Q: “I don’t read much, but I know what I like. Reading’s hard, you see. That is to say, it’s hard to read. By that I mean there’s a lot of words, some good, some bad, some, well, I don’t know. Hard to say. May God continue to bless America.” -George B, Crawford, TX.

A: And may God continue to bless you, Mr. President.


Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

i know you were being a silly arse but i responded to your silly arse comment.

January 21, 2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger Gothamimage said...

God will be okay with Bush, so long as he listens to Bush. Should He stop listening, He will have to answer to Karl Rove. If you want to know what the means, stop by our blog and tale a look

January 21, 2006 4:36 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Two responses and not ONE idea for a tag-line? Seriously, people, I'm battling some brutal writer's block here!

January 21, 2006 4:51 PM  
Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

oh i hate the new look, i hate teddy bears, i hate apple pie. i hate little fuzzy kittes, i'll be back when i can think of more things i hate.

January 21, 2006 5:42 PM  
Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

"Featuring Fine Additions for Your Worthless Pile of Shit Collection"

(It's slightly used. That was the slogan of my antique shop a few years back.)

P.S.: Like the new look. MUCH easier to read. And the red white and blue, (combined with the black letters you brought over from the old place to honor our African American heritage) is the "NUTS".

January 21, 2006 11:25 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Damn boy! More patriotism per square foot than a town hall meeting with the President.

I'm getting verklepmt.

January 22, 2006 9:42 AM  
Anonymous abi said...

Here's another tagline suggestion:

Just an ordinary uber patriot seeking danger in the post-9/11 homeland.

But I like kvatch's better.

January 22, 2006 12:07 PM  
Anonymous LILY (the quiet seeker) said...

"Spurious George- Kickin Liberal Ass And Taking Names"
"Helping Misguided Hippies Ignore Their Own Hysterics Since 2005"
"Better Than Your ChickLit Book Club, Not Quite As Good As Your Confraternity"
"Spurious George: Breakfast Of Champions"
"Rejecting The Dope Demographic"

or..."Spurious George: Where The Women Are Satisfied and The Possum's Always Fresh"....

January 22, 2006 2:42 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

All good suggestions. I think I'll forego the "contest" I announced and use them all, starting on Monday.

Is that intellectually bankrupt? Possibly. That said, YOU try writing new, patriotic taglines every day!

January 22, 2006 2:52 PM  
Anonymous lily said...

I, Rex, can write patriotic taglines EVERY day.And I do. On bathroom walls.
In fact, this morning after church I scrawled a few. They were well received.
Graffiti ain't graffiti if its well constructed truth.

January 22, 2006 9:34 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

I laugh out loud more at your blog than any other, you ARE FUNNY sir and have a very good blog...kills me...

January 23, 2006 1:38 AM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

These are all great ...and Your site looks good Rex....( I know I give you a hard time out there out in Blogland...but I promise to play nice at your house)....

I like the one about possums- up above- can't remember who said it and it's now covered by the comment page...shoot...

I would be happy to have any of these as grafetti- Liily is on to something...hell I would even be willing to tatoo myself with some of these....hmm now where could I fit these....
love your blog...might have to roll you..

January 23, 2006 4:21 AM  
Blogger Drew said...

You will either get this or you won't.

"All Your Voting Base Are Belong To Us"

Perfect and simple.

January 23, 2006 10:29 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

I know Engrish when I see it.

Me likey. I'll put it in the rotation.

January 23, 2006 2:01 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

*Helping Afghanistan
Helping Iraq
Soon to be Helping Iran & Syria.

It's great to be the peacekeepers.*

ok, not as good as the others but you gotta give me an A for effort....

January 23, 2006 11:47 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

Hey! You used my comment! :-) I hadn't really even thought of it as a tagline but was just sucking up.

I'm honored.

January 24, 2006 12:17 PM  

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