!!!SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION EXCLUSIVE!!!

Rex Kramer Inks Deal to Bring Patriotism to Millions

(Orlando) In a deal drawing appropriate comparisons to the Marshall Plan and the Berlin Airlift, Spurious George’s danger-seeking reporter Rex Kramer© today announced that starting this weekend, he will be delivering sweet, refreshing patriotism to the freedom-parched readers of the über-liberal propaganda tool, The Blue Republic.

“While our points of view differ from the patriotic right to the extremely liberal wrong, I look forward to the opportunity to convince the potheads and abortionists that constitute The Blue Republic’s readership to come aboard the USS America for the pleasure cruise to the white-sanded beaches of freedom-loving,” confidently announced the red-white-and-blue-tuxedoed Kramer. “Not to underestimate my considerable talents, but the fact is America basically sells herself.”

The unlikely marriage between proud patriotism and timid treason was allegedly born in response to a boycott of The Blue Republic’s advertisers called for by fair-and-balanced media watchdog Bill O’Reilly. “While I admire The Blue Republic for their Clintonesque slickness, I was appalled by its’ unapologetic liberal-bias,” remarked the neutral O’Reilly, who seeks balance in all things. “Quite frankly, they need a man’s man like Rex Kramer to set things right, and educate the under-conservative.”

Kramer assured his loyal base that he remains committed to report daily for Spurious George, and that his foray into the Land of Liberalism is a part-time endeavor. “My role at TBP will be to provide a weekly alternative to the nattering nabobs of negativity; my all-American heart, as always, remains loyal to the much-more-patriotic Spurious George faithful.” Kramer’s first column will not appear until Saturday, but he encouraged “SG-heads” to visit The Blue Republic in advance so that they “may know the enemy.”