Saturday, March 18, 2006

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER EXCUSE

Rex Kramer's Absence Raises Questions

(Orlando) In a question once asked exclusively about Waldo, Carmen San Diego and "The Beef," the world is now wondering, "Where's Rex Kramer?" Is he in re-hab? Is he deep, deep, deep undercover? Is he marrying Angelina Jolie this weekend? The answer, SG readers, is slightly less exciting yet infinitely more patriotic; he's been attending to his primary (and only paying) occupation of Danger-Seeking Detecting! Last night, for example, Rex and his Good-Doing Goon Squad raided a seedy strip club (seriously,) where it seems that...you won't believe this...women show their private parts for money! While we can't confirm this, we here at SG believe this makes Baby Jesus cry.

In any event, after a good night's sleep, Rex has pledged to resume doling out democracy-loving diatribes at some point today. In the meantime, why not get your daily dose of Danger-Seeking over at the Blue Republic, where today you can learn if your own hometown is on God's "Smiting List."

6 Comments:

Anonymous Dude said...

Last night, for example, Rex and his Good-Doing Goon Squad raided a seedy strip club (seriously,) where it seems that...you won't believe this...women show their private parts for money!

I wish I could believe you Rex, but I need evidence. Like real evidence...photo, videos...that sort of thing. So let's seem em....pleeeeeeazzz.

March 18, 2006 6:48 PM  
Anonymous abi said...

...women show their private parts for money! While we can't confirm this, we here at SG believe this makes Baby Jesus cry.

Well, sure. Baby Jesus isn't old enough to get into one of these watering holes of delight.

March 18, 2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Thank you, Mr. Kramer, from keeping America safe from the threat of exposed female genitalia. Some hippies will do anything for money.


...is their anyway I can set up my own Good Doing Goon squad?

March 18, 2006 8:14 PM  
Anonymous LILY BRANFORD said...

Listen to all you MEN!

AND thanks, damned Rex, for ruining my part time job.

March 18, 2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Hippies, let me assure you that your average strip club is no place you'd want to be (even if Lily works there.) I think I've taken about 17 showers since last night...cold ones, but still.

March 18, 2006 11:19 PM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

even though mr kramer is a danger seeker, i do so hope he covered his eyes during the raid, lest he turn into stone or is that a bone?

March 19, 2006 7:12 AM  

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