CONGRESS CAN’T PAY POWER BILL

Tax-and-Spend Democrats Rightfully Blamed

(Washington) The Capitol Building went dark today, and for once it was not due to one of Ted Kennedy’s hangover-induced bad moods. A suspicious power outage forced a bipartisan evacuation (although Democrats were seen cutting and running quicker than their more brave GOP counterparts,) and as a precautionary measure, the bombing of Iran.

Ed. Note: Ignore that last line…it never happened!

While the usual suspects such as al Queda, Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton were initially accused of causing the blackout, a much more sinister organization was ultimately held accountable: Democratic Congressmen. Although both houses of Congress are, mercifully, solidly in the hands of the Republican Party, in an act inspired by President Bush’s call for civility in government the opposition party was ceded responsibility for one simple duty: paying the electric bill.

Of course, they screwed that up. Typical.

“Not only do the Democrats want you to believe they can defend our country from terrorism, but they would have you believe that they are fiscally responsible,” stated an incredulous President of the Senate Dick Cheney. Cheney, whose super-powers include the ability to see in the dark, remained at his seat during the incident, while so-called warriors such as John Murtha and John Kennedy knocked over senior citizens and visiting Girl Scouts on their way out the door. “I mean, these people can’t even pay their own bills. No doubt the money that should’ve been paid to America’s patriotic power companies was wasted on marijuana and quickie abortions!”