Monday, April 03, 2006

CONGRESS CAN’T PAY POWER BILL

Tax-and-Spend Democrats Rightfully Blamed

(Washington)
The Capitol Building went dark today, and for once it was not due to one of Ted Kennedy’s hangover-induced bad moods. A suspicious power outage forced a bipartisan evacuation (although Democrats were seen cutting and running quicker than their more brave GOP counterparts,) and as a precautionary measure, the bombing of Iran.

Ed. Note: Ignore that last line…it never happened!

While the usual suspects such as al Queda, Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton were initially accused of causing the blackout, a much more sinister organization was ultimately held accountable: Democratic Congressmen. Although both houses of Congress are, mercifully, solidly in the hands of the Republican Party, in an act inspired by President Bush’s call for civility in government the opposition party was ceded responsibility for one simple duty: paying the electric bill.

Of course, they screwed that up. Typical.

“Not only do the Democrats want you to believe they can defend our country from terrorism, but they would have you believe that they are fiscally responsible,” stated an incredulous President of the Senate Dick Cheney. Cheney, whose super-powers include the ability to see in the dark, remained at his seat during the incident, while so-called warriors such as John Murtha and John Kennedy knocked over senior citizens and visiting Girl Scouts on their way out the door. “I mean, these people can’t even pay their own bills. No doubt the money that should’ve been paid to America’s patriotic power companies was wasted on marijuana and quickie abortions!”

12 Comments:

Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

Marijuana and quickie abortions? How dare you! Marijuana, as everyone knows, is a gateway drug, and the Democrats long ago moved on to Heroin! And when you take Heroin (as I understand it) you don't need electricity. You just like there in a pool of your own vomit and die. And then you're dead, and you don't need electricity when you're dead , either.

April 03, 2006 8:39 PM  
Anonymous abi said...

Congress was in the dark today?

How is this different than yesterday?

April 03, 2006 9:41 PM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

are you comparing the dems to george costanza now?

that IS a low blow

April 04, 2006 5:58 AM  
Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

this was just an excuse. the real reason the power went out was Democrat's tendency to be oversexed. would you even want to imagine what these guys would look like naked in broad daylight?

April 04, 2006 7:55 AM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

oh my

in my haste i forgot to CONGRATULATE YOU!

April 04, 2006 8:50 AM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Neil: It is true that a dead man needs not electricity...but that won't keep the Democrats from taxing you when you're dead!

Abi: Excellent point. Lately, they've become a little uppity in regards to their relationship with the White House...how much more in the dark can you be?

Rose: I think the comparison is apt. I mean, are the Democrats the master of their domain? I think not.

Reverend: As someone who once inadvertantly walked in on Janet Reno taking a shower, I can attest...wait...I just threw up in my own mouth.

Rose: Thank you. I will, of course, post at great length later today re: how the Gators' win is good for America.

April 04, 2006 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I heard the Well Rounded Nerds, Chuckles and Fulsome, were in DC yesterday. I got my money on them.

Don't be silly, Dickie bought some cookies from the Girl Scouts before he shot at them on the way out.

April 04, 2006 12:32 PM  
Blogger Blogenfreude said...

What's the matter Kramer? Can't find more blogs worthy of your wrath?

April 04, 2006 1:18 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

LoL, agit, I think you are Rex's play of the whole week.

The repubs didn't pay the electric bill because they put all their money in DeLay's campaign fund which he may now use to pay his legal bills.

Only in America, could someone donate money they think is going to get their candidate re-elected and that money ends up going to pay for their candidates legal defense. That's an abortion of a different sort.

April 04, 2006 1:49 PM  
Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

AG: Deadeye Dick would never shoot a Girl Scout. Wing one? Sure, but who hasn't?

Freude: Nice try, hippe, but you have been designated the "Freedom-Hating Blog of the WEEK." Ye shall not be released from your scarlet letter until Sunday...unless you confess your crimes against freedom before then!

P.O.P. How could patriot DeLay remain in office unless his legal bills (for fighting the partisan charges against him)are paid? Thus, the campaign donations were put to good, and legal, use.

April 04, 2006 3:29 PM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Legal use? Looks like it
Good use? Defending a snake would be good use.

Yep, those damned Democrats made him commit all those crimes. They held a gun to his head and made him do it all. Tom should have fought back. If only he could have had DDT to spray in their faces. Damned endangered species act and good science ruined all his fun.

April 04, 2006 3:46 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

LOL...POP!

April 05, 2006 1:58 AM  

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