DEMOCRAT PLAYS RACE CARD

Congresswoman Uses “OJ Defense” to Justify Striking Cop

(Washington) By all accounts, Representative Cynthia McKinney (D-FL) is your average Democratic member of Congress: violent, void of ideas, and disrespectful of authority. Thus it came as a surprise to no one when earlier this week she struck a Capitol Police officer (while possibly on a “crack high”) after refusing to submit to a mandatory security check, and then subsequently blame the incident on the officer’s alleged racism. McKinney, a woman of color who clearly has developed a false sense of entitlement “thanks” to ill-conceived affirmative action, refused to present her security credentials to officers who’s duty it is to protect the Capitol Building, and was temporarily denied entry. That’s when, according to credible, white male witnesses, McKinney “got up all in the officer’s faces.”

“I have never in my law-abiding career on the Hill seen a member of Congress so drunk, or more likely high, on power,” observed Tom DeLay (R-TX,) who recently announced his retirement so that he may devote more time to his efforts to feed Africa’s poor. “And the language! I can’t repeat what she said…no, seriously, I have no idea what she said. I think she was talking jive or ebonics, or whatever those people call it. Quite possibly, she was rapping. One thing for sure, it wasn’t the kind of gospel music that her people are known for.”

“That’s when she pulled the knife. I’m pretty sure she had a gun as well,” observed Tom Tancredo (R-CO,) a man in no way biased against non-white Americans. “The officer showed great restraint by not using deadly force, which clearly would have been justified.” Tancredo remarked that he vividly recalled seeing McKinney possessing a knife, as he found it odd that an African-American would have such a weapon. According to the “Defender of Denver,” cutting weapons are most often found on the persons of illegal Mexican welfare-abusers who hate our freedom and who steal American jobs.

Administration officials, always supportive of the foot soldier and patrol officer, assured the American people that the incident involving the cop-hating Democrat was in no way influenced by the Congresswoman’s race. “As a black woman raised in 1950’s Birmingham, Alabama, I never once felt that I was pre-judged because of my skin color,” truthfully asserted authority-respecting Condoleezza Rice, whom many white people respect for her ability to annunciate clearly and her disdain for racial quotas. “Thus, it is inconceivable that in contemporary America, where racism has been eliminated, that Representative McKinney could have been the ‘victim’ of racial profiling.”

Despite her soul sister’s assurances that her complaints were unfounded, McKinney’s attorneys Mark Shapiro and F. Lee Bailey today filed a motion with the court that would prohibit any punitive legal action against their client. “As we proved in California v. Simpson, ‘if you ain’t white, you can’t indict,” rapped a clearly-intoxicated and cross-dressing Bailey.

Ed. Note: Despite SG’s best efforts, those hippies at Agitprop continue to hate America. Now only half-way through their Week of Smiting©, we need your help more than ever so that those tie-dyed freaks may see the error in their ways. Won’t you stop by their site and bring them over to the light side of freedom-loving? Jesus will thank you for it!